I know who you are.
You know who you are.
Names are not necessary.
I know in my heart this letter will manifest itself in front of your eyes when the timing is right.
There is so much I have to say to you…
There is so much you need to hear….
For decades, I only had fragments of memories and a deep confusion of the defiling that befell me on that night.
It would still be that way, if not for the unexpected confession from your partner in crime.
I think the most shocking realization for me, on the night he decided to try and relieve himself of the guilt and shame he carried, was to become aware of the fact that you planned this horrific event in my life.
My deprivation was not a moment that got away from you.
You actually lured me with purpose and intention.
You plotted and schemed ahead of time to get me to a destination where you could fulfill your monstrous objective to rape me.
I was 14 years old.
I was a virgin.
I was a young girl that was yet to have her first kiss.
I was shy and reserved with a tendency to keep boys at a distance because I was already damaged and broken from years of abuse.
And you…….YOU were an INCUBUS!!!
It still astonishes me that at such a young age, you had already developed into a full blown predator.
I used to wonder if I was the only one.
I found out that I’m not.
Now I just wonder…
You took my innocence, the reality that I was already groomed for abuse, my childlike two-year crush on you and groomed me some more to prepare me for the inevitable night of deflowering my body and soul.
You stole so much more from me than my virginity.
You left me with a gaping hole in my entire being.
It took a long time and it wasn’t easy, but I healed it!
I am so much stronger than either you or I ever imagined I could be!
You didn’t destroy me, but I know enough to know you destroyed yourself!
I didn’t look for the information, it found me, I know about the pitiful existence you call your life. I know your life is a continuous saga of pain and suffering.
Is it Karma?
That’s not for me to say.
It may surprise you to know, your ill-being doesn’t bring me any feelings of happiness or joy.
Quite the contrary, I find myself praying for you.
I pray for your redemption.
I pray for your healing.
I pray you find peace.
For as long as you remain unhealed, you will continue to do as you do, and as you have always done.
Wreak Havoc and shatter the lives of those around you!
I don’t take any pleasure in knowing this wretchedness prevails. There has been enough devastation already!
Today I forgive you and I set myself free!
You no longer live in any cell of my body causing destruction, sadness or pain!
I am beautiful, whole and healed, living a full and happy life!
You did not destroy me!