The Path I took to heal wasn’t a straight line with a defined beginning and an end.
It doesn’t work that way.
It was more of a series of:
Dips and Climbs
Stops and Starts
Zigs and Zags.
The healing process is seldom quick and easy.
Although things can change in an instant of an aha-moment.
There is usually a lot of work that went into creating that instant awareness.
It is important to periodically look back and recognize how far you have moved when you are on the path of healing. It is inevitable you will lose sight of your accomplishments occasionally.
Feeling day to day like you are going nowhere because it can be so damn slow is not unusual, but when you look back, you see those little tiny steps have taken you a great distance.
Healing is hard work! It’s not for the weak, but if you feel weak when you start, it is okay. It’s normal to feel that way in the beginning. Doing the work will make you stronger every day!
It can feel overwhelming at first. It can feel downright impossible to get from where you are to where you want to be.
Take a deep breath!
You don’t need to get there in one day.
In fact, it’s impossible to do that. You only need to take one small step. ANY step that feels too big, can be broken down into smaller steps.
What is your next step?
or even your first step?
It all begins and ends with Self-Love and Self-Care.
In what areas of your life are you not loving yourself? Not caring for yourself?
For today, you only need to pick one.
Are you giving too much of yourself to everyone else and too little or nothing at all to yourself?
If you try to run on empty for too long you will stall and get stuck. If you are just feeding yourself small doses of love and care, just enough to get by. You will be tired, drained and pushing yourself to get through the day.
It is not selfish to make yourself a priority, it is a necessity. You cannot fully show up for your relationships, for your job, for your life……..until you have fully shown up for yourself first!
Implement the “B” words.
Without balance and boundaries, your life has no choice but to feel out of whack!
Creating healthy boundaries can feel downright daunting if you are not used to doing it. It takes courage to begin the process of putting them in place. It doesn’t have to overwhelm you. It can be done one little piece at a time. Beginning this process begins with recognition of where they are lacking.
Where do you need to add more balance in your life?
What do you need to do to even out the scales?
Are you trying to do it all alone?
Do you ask for help when you need it?
Do you take responsibility when and where you need to?
Are you pushing your responsibilities off onto other people?
Are you giving away your power?
You need to feel to heal.
Are you allowing yourself to feel your pain?
You don’t have to do it all at once, just a little at a time. As hard as it may be, you must allow yourself to feel the pain before you can release it.
Take inventory! Think about how you spend your days. You must become aware of where you are getting it wrong before you can start to get it right.
Where is pain showing up in your life?
Are you allowing yourself to feel it or are you pushing it back down?
Are you sweeping it under the rug?
What are you doing to avoid your pain?
In what ways are you self-sabotaging?
Making the choice to begin.
Before all else, is the choice to begin.
Healing doesn’t and won’t happen on its own. It must be a conscience choice. Every day when you wake up, weather you realize it or not, you make a choice. You can either consciously choose to heal or unconsciously choose to move deeper into your pain. We don’t stand still. We are always moving in one direction or another. The choice is yours to pick which direction that will be.
For me, I saw it this way, I could ascend into happiness or continue to spiral into hell. When I saw it that way it was an easy choice. It became worth the work. I have never regretted doing the work. I am grateful everyday that I made the choice to heal my life. This is not a quick and easy journey, but every step leads you to a better place and it gets easier along the way.
Photo credit: Missy Booz